I should be painting

I

am an artist

of a different breed

only able to create

as much as this blood will allow

even now

these words spread it thin

Sadly my life

is a moving representation

of my horrible timing

"One at a time Bri..."

My mother's words still ring true

As I find it impossible to woo

And you...

You who has pushed me

to the limit

time

and

time again...

Pressed me once again for words

I feel it more more difficult than

I originally imagined

so even though I've failed to hit the mark

with this...

I'll attempt to find us in my canvas

impossible to let it go

vanished like a slow vapor

walked out into the coldest night

warmed my hands with my own breath

a soft song sings to me

I'm old enough now to know that

alcohol

ice

and memories of you never mix well

still I thirst

what did we expect would happen

an alcoholic

an addict

a poet

as if it was remotely possible for me to let you go

she asked

"if you're not a beggar, then why are you on your knees?"

because baby

I'm searching your shadow for truth

more than words

Its all in a book
somewhere
I promise
circulating the east coast
as we speak...

someone loves me
traded her last name to be come a God
and this little bible she wrote
holds my hands like a lost gospel

she is bold
and
alive

inspires me towards lofty heights
inspires me towards heaven

thank you