Ten Seconds and Counting

My heart is a time bomb

wont you wind back this clock

so i can survive a bit longer

just to spend seconds with you

Can't decide between

green and red wires?

Fuck it

Unplug the whole thing

and jam me straight into

you

Let me synchronize

Dial you in so

we can live

and

die

In our precision

In our moment

as we create and breathe

only

for

one another

BOOM

Contemplating the idea of being just me

She says I'm more than this

more than this singular existence I've

created for myself

Pope

Newton

Galileo

Single

Singular amazing men

Never wanted to abandon their art

for love

Surely I am not as bright

as these

surely

Tried to be an island...

I’m a devil

Liar

My smile is a forgery

Of the worst kind

Please don’t believe in me

I try and try

To find some

Sense of goodness within

I get lost every time

They’re right aren’t they ma

I am what those people say I am

Cocky, bold and less than beautiful

Dark, cold and calloused

Genius

I’ll end up just like the rest

Alone with the thoughts that refuse

To conform

Calling out for anyone still willing

To listen

Please listen

I’ve had one or two along the way

It’s always a mess

I give no warning for my ways

Or those days

They know about

Those days

I apologize to you both

Whatever that means

I haven’t been on my knees In awhile

They say that’s all it takes

Fuck it seems like a long way down

broken

with nothing left

to sell

And I can’t fake it for much longer

I will not conform

But I will confess

That I can’t do this on my own

Nice To Meet You

The snow is white

perfect

pure

nothing like me

exactly like her

in my eyes

she's everything I've ever

wanted

I

am

Nothing

She's ever known

Cliche I know

My footsteps against

these streets pile high

Headphones on

nothing but the music I love

in perfect unison with the beating

of my heart

Acoustic guitar now please

I can only scream so many songs

about infidelities and how

everything

hurts

So I'm changing the mood

changing the tune

This morning is beautiful

Wake up

and

let those eyes shine

Around and Around

I am lifeless

long nights make for even longer days

each word clumsily falls from my fingertips

drips into this keyboard and takes on a world

of its own

Its one of those days again

Down

Don't know how long this one's

gonna last

Barely made it through the last stretch

the mirror holds nothing for me

who the fuck is that guy

old

pale

white

tired

How is it possible to hate

the skin you wear

and yet know that its

handsome enough to take home

the entire lot

They're not privi

to the knowledge you and I

have of myself

And that's why I love you

Never asked for more than

exactly what I am

Unfortunately it's always too much

or

never enough

I hate this hit or miss scene

Its not a love 'em

and leave 'em thing

Because I can't love anyone but you

and you've made it impossible to leave

What Now?

4 a.m. is no time for walking

the air freezes

and your joints ache

fingers stretch towards anything thats warm

the clouds blend perfectly with the sky

I make decisions between the stars

wondering if they're yours or mine

still empty handed

I offer you everything

This blood is useless

when you've swallowed my heart

These arms are pointless

when they only hold on

to memories that

become less clear everyday

and these hands

oh,

these hands

how they long for another pair

begging to be held

you inspired me enough to write

but I am no where closer to

where I want and need to be

Tell me...

what now?

There will be no story

I am alone again

as this world crashes down upon me

my own insecurities

or obvious failures

become waves that I struggle against

and I

attempt to shut down this

impossible ocean I've left between us

gapping like some hole left by a harpoon

I am no great white

no trophy

I was merely bait

as you were netted by better men