lets bang this one out

She's got a drawer full of scotch tape and safety pins

rock-paper-scissors-

I've got something that always wins

watch me ignite this blow torch

not to burn or lose you

instead an attempt to fuse you

to me

let our skin melt together

as if our seering flesh

will give the scent of our very own unity candle

prove to the world

that you were attached

long before you were hitched

that you long for these lips

even though they've never felt your kiss

and

all the boys

who have are poor substitutes

cause me and layton are on the wish list

as we are

as of now fictional characters

in a book never written

or

atleast never finished

so listen carefully

as that swing arm raises

and crashes so beautifully against the page

the long awaited first letter

of the first word

as we began to write this story

one climax at a time...

when they danced

Looking out over these night time fields- Lights hover low like prison watch- there are no bars here- no serpentine fences captivating dreams- only open roads and suspended smoke- I can spin dizzily for hours watch the horizon be broken- shattered by mountain tops- tell me about the olden days- about ancient ways- getting high on steam from boiling rocks- as our people danced magically around hero flames- delirious now- my words fall from tired hands- I'm still spinning- yet- the party somehow undertands- that though I may never be understood- they want to able- to tell the world that- once upon a time- they knew me

(something changed the space between us)

Days from home- miles from familiar something stirs- I. the brand new animal lost in a foriegn world- I have memories of flashbacks or maybe flashbacks of memories- or maybe- maybe they're nothing-nothing but gentle apparitions of ficticious moments- has anything occurred- have I always been this way or have I changed- maybe more aware- still- I can not tell- am I stronger now or more fragile than the eggshells that seperate us- I aim to find out- and if I do I promise not to blame any one but myself- desperate- these words run from me- so I repeat- as once I was blind. But now...

she flies i drive

Traveling long ways down empty highway roads- forward always- drive softly towards the center of nowhere- the sun settles swiftly behind that rocky mountain struggle- ever hopeless romantic starving lover- lost- missed exits- u turns made- the past is the past- the future ever present- constant understanding that nothing will ever be the same- I coludnt come back if I tried- I am new in you- beautiful perfection- reflected in that setting sun...

waiting

The alcohol washes over me- warm- like heroin waves- spending the night alone- in this coffin-as I am salt-sweat-stitched to these sheets- nights I wanted to be painless- lift a bottle to her words- an attempt to drink away her hurts- terror nights- a mirror full of terror lines- watch my friends destroy themselves- these are trialed times- they wonder why I stay up late and drink too much- I am a watchmen - keeping a weathered eye upon that horizon- waiting for a sign- as if I could see her walking through the arches of St. Louis or wandering through the Kansas plains- I keep watch- I'll keep the light on darling- burning until I burn down...

im alive

This is a death speech- honest words from a slurring tongue- she's beautiful even from across a million miles- her smile still saves me- on black out nights this pavement seems to be exactly what I deserve- hard-cold-un forgiving-forgive me-forget me- its for the best she told me- re wrapped and sold me- now I wander these streets- they wrap their arms around me- show me the secrets of branches breaking clouds-frozen fingers reaching towards a failing sky- never say good bye- but I will say good night

She was my debutante- I was a disaster- she was a lion - I was just a boy- let's take you to the circus- with no rings- watch how easily I manipulate and move you- fearing for my life at every eager gesture- the dirt scuffles and the audience roars- the dust settles - we dance a devils dance responding to eachothers every move- won't you devour me- do not be tamed- in an exchange of names- I'm no submissive - I'm a magician- watch how quickly you'll apear

truth is in the details

I'm unable to lick

this addiction

cause I'm trying to kick it

with a fix

And

if I keep on fixing

I'll stay broken

Once

I was lost

so desperate

to vanish from

this world

I locked myself in a car

and

drove for hours

un-able to see

past that painless

cloud of smoke

through the windshield

upon a city

full of loved ones

who so passionately

wanted to see me alive

but I'd want to die

heavy like

a sand bag

death driver

with burning hands

I held tight

to a steering wheel

taking me nowhere

eyes bright in dimmer

lights painted

face in shades of white

wearing

a smile my painted lie

Oh

you

want to hear

about recovery

about

cycles and triggers

how about your read

my empty hands

and

calloused fingers...

I'm more than a story

I'm a goddamn library

i'll tell you this

Miracle
that's what I'll call you
as time
roads
street signs
have no meaning to a love like this
memories hold so much happiness
enough to smile for every one

however

its not my memories that sustain me
its those memories waiting to be created
there is but one challenge in this life
to find love and know it
I have and I do
you have
and
you will
more fiercely than ever imagined

I still tremble at your voice
shiver at the thought of you
as
each word holds me comforted
has the power to destroy me

so I'll bask in that sound
sweet as harp strings
tap it out to the pattern of your breathing
how it has me dancing
bathed in a blessing
and a capacity for understanding
that sometimes
songs
are written inside the breaths of
the one you love

and the name of that song?

Miracle

that's what I'll call you

our own personal symphony

For the first time in a long time I am in the sun as we shine I close my eyes and blood fills my eyelids and the light dances across my face like the sultry fingertips of a forgotten lover. Its beautiful how something as simple as sitting in the sun can become a small miracle. And now it rains. And I walk. I let every tiny raindrop embrace my skin. Each cold sensation reminds of a girl I left back home. And I remember those late nights of laughter as we danced like angels to a symphony that never existed.