truth is in the details

I'm unable to lick

this addiction

cause I'm trying to kick it

with a fix

And

if I keep on fixing

I'll stay broken

Once

I was lost

so desperate

to vanish from

this world

I locked myself in a car

and

drove for hours

un-able to see

past that painless

cloud of smoke

through the windshield

upon a city

full of loved ones

who so passionately

wanted to see me alive

but I'd want to die

heavy like

a sand bag

death driver

with burning hands

I held tight

to a steering wheel

taking me nowhere

eyes bright in dimmer

lights painted

face in shades of white

wearing

a smile my painted lie

Oh

you

want to hear

about recovery

about

cycles and triggers

how about your read

my empty hands

and

calloused fingers...

I'm more than a story

I'm a goddamn library